This just in:
Leon, Shadow's pet lion with the squeaky stomach and the crinkly behind, has been rendered mute.
"It is sad," said Shadow's caretaker, "but I it was bound to happen sooner or later."
Redirecting attention to the silver Lab's newest acquisition, a red chicken named Sam, she added, "Sam's looking pretty scared right now. I mean, if a lion can't even survive..."
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